My Type of Guy

My Type of Guy.

(Imported from my LJ, and edited.  Originally posted May 26, 2005.)

I kinda hate this question. “What is my type of guy?” I dont have a type. I can like big geeks and big football players, I can like pensive (legal) boys and strong older men. There is no one that I can describe and say “yes, im attracted to them,” or “no, I wouldnt date them at all.”

So, this is my little mini essay on the guys that I like. There will probably be always exceptions to the rule, but most of the guys that I have dated and gotten along with have had the majority of these qualities.

Open Mind. If someone is so stuck in their ways they never want to try and do or learn something new, we will not get along. If, out of the blue, I say “hey, lets go skydiving, (eat thai food, watch a new tv show, try a new position)” etc, a proper response is either “yes” or “im not sure, lets disuss it.” Abilitiy to learn new things, to think about new and weird scientific stuff, to be able to converse about unknown items, etc. This is also open minded about beliefs. Not that I wouldnt date someone with strong religious convictions, but as long as they dont give me grief about my religion, and can think their own thoughts, we should be fine.

High Sexual Appetite. I am a very sexually driven person. I like and enjoy sex. And, while I know that sex is not the only reason for a relationship, I will probably be driven out of my mind by someone that only wants sex once a month. I am the type of person that, unless im sick or exhausted, will probably never say no to my partner. And while it might be unreasonable to think that my partner would do the same for me, Id rather have a partner that will say yes 90% of the time, and when they say no, explain why they dont want sex, and schedule a make up time. :-)

Attractiveness. Now, while there is not a type of guy that I am attracted to, I have several different archetypes that I will usually be drawn to. guys with long well kept hair. Guys with well kept goatees (i dont really like mustaches and/or van dyke styles, or long bushy beards. Well kept beards, it really depends.) Shy Geeky guys. Smart looking guys (nerdy guys, guys in glasses, guys that look smart) Black guys (mmm, black guys with glasses :-) (Note, this list is neither inclusive or exhaustive.) But, there has to be some level of attraction there, or else there is no sexual spark. I can be great friends with someone, but if I dont want to fuck them, then we cant have a sexual relationship. There have been times that people that I previously found not fuckable have been changed into a fuckable category, but very few. (And, if I have seen a picture of you, and are still chatting, you probably still have a chance. Ask if you want to know :-)

Compatable relationship ethics. I was discussing with a friend that I could not be friends with someone that does not share my same relationship ethics. Aka, if you are married and fucking around without telling your wife, we will probably never be friends. I do not particularly care if you have cheated in the past, because there is no need to lie to me. I am poly, I am open.

Comfortable with Safe Sex Practices. Aka, you dont have to love using condoms, but you expect it, can keep it hard using one, and know how special going without one is. Anyone that dislikes condoms to the point of not wanting to use one, sorry, I am not your girl.  I know I live a high risk lifestyle, and I want to feel confident that my partner will use condoms with their other partners.  Asking me to go without one, without a primary level relationship, indicates that they may ask their other partners to go without one, which is kinda icky to me.

Age. Age is semi flexible with me, I have dated from 19 to 42. The younger limit is bound by legality (aka, 18, because I have lots of porn) and the upper limit is more by attractiveness than actual age. If you are 45 and look (honestly) 32, maybe. If you are 32 and look 50, no :-) I am not attracted to far older people, no matter what you think you could do for me.

Cuddle slut. Doesnt have to be a slut about it, but I do enjoy cuddling, and I want to know that my partner enjoys holding and touching me. Im a very touchy feely huggy person, and I expect my partner to be the same towards me.

*Bonus: Non smoker. Or dipper. Im okay with the occasional pot use, but no heavier drugs. I dont usually mind dating smokers, unless they reek of smoke, and taste of it. But, with a toothbrush, its usually taken care of. Again, once we meet in person, ask, and i’ll let you know :-)