Multiple

“So, remember when I told you I wasnt multiple?”

“Yeah, so what did it?”

“A hand in my cunt, a hitachi on my clit, and a guy holding me down.” :-)

I am happiest when freshly fucked and when my inner slut has a chance to play :-)

Cucumber

I am still unsure about how I want this blog to be :-)  This blog is designed to be a reflection of my sexual self, an extension of my sluttiness, an affirmation of my positive experiences (as I hope to have many more.)

However?  I suck at erotica.  I have found that I am pretty good with roleplay :-)  But, like my academic writing, I can talk about it far easier than I can write about it. Get me on the phone with my sex partners, and I can spin an elaborate fantasy to get both of us off. Ask me to write what I said? Almost impossible.

I met an awesome guy at an awesome party.  Another friend said I was “radiating sexual energy” at that party.  I Really had a good time.  The guy that I met turned out to be linked to me in a long chain of relationships, which I find amusing.

My parents and sister are out of the house.  Or, I was pretty sure they would be, and finally got official confirmation right before he arrived.

He asked me to buy a cucumber….

I love sex.  I love sex positive people.  I love people who have figured out what they like, and people still in the stages of finding their kinks.  (And, these are often the same people, as sex and kink is not something that just appears and stagnates.) So, this guy has a kink for phallic shaped vegetables. Hey, I like phallic things in my cunt, its all good. I picked out one of the smaller ones, which he still commented was kinda large. To me, the cucumber was only slightly larger than he was, and one of the smaller ones at the store.

The phrase “fuck me with your cucumber” came out of my mouth.

Fun.

We talked afterward, after some Wii Fit and cream puffs. We talked about many things, but we talked about his fantasies and kinks. It is amazing to define someone’s unresolved kink, and then act it out to show that it works. But, that is another post :-)

Types of Relationships

(Originally posted February 26th, 2007)

(Any time I say “my therapist says” it is a paraphrase of how I heard it.)

My therapist says that I should focus on getting the type of primary relationship that I want, and not put energy into other, less fulfilling relationships. Shes also suggest that I find a regular fuck buddy to get my sexual needs met. So confused :-)

So, I am attempting to write out a list of the types of guys that i want to date, in terms of relationship styles. I already have a list of the types of guys, based on physical and personality traits Here

Fuck buddy. This is someone that I would otherwise be uncompatable dating (aka, have nothing in common, larger age difference, etc) but loves fucking me. They still must love cuddling. One of my best fuck buddy relationships, I didnt like the guy all that much, he was at the upper limit of my age range, we only really spoke late at night (we met online, met in a bar, then mostly chatted online) before he would come over to my place. Typically, we would fuck, cuddle for a while, fuck again, then he would leave and I would go to sleep.

Friends with benefits. This is someone that I can go out and have a good time with, and then come home and fuck. Sexual appetite and drive is still the highest selection feature on this, I dislike being sexually rejected, so most of the times that we would go out, I would want sex to be involved. “Going out” can be restaurants (usually), parties, poly dinners, the like.

Play partners. These fall between the two above. Either they dont live close enough to have a steady relationship, or its a speciality BDSM type relationship, or its a more opportunistic play session rather than a planned one. People that I see at parties and play with then, or people that I see rarely due to distance, fall into this category.

Secondary relationships. These are emotional relationships with someone that is already in an established couple. I expect dates, I expect good sex, and I expect to be treated as a partner to the person I am dating. If their other partner does not like me, then we really cant fall into this category (but we could fall into one of the upper categories.)

Primary relationship. These is a more emotionally involved relationship with someone that does not already have a primary partner. Yes, I know that there can be more than two people in a primary type relationship, but thats not really something that I am looking for at the moment. I want to be the primary person that my partner is emotionally involved and interested in. Yes, this is selfish, but they (and I) can have the above relationships.

What does a primary involve? Really, more emotional commitment and expectations. The desire to want to be with me, to be involved in my life, to want to share things with me, etc.

My Type of Guy

My Type of Guy.

(Imported from my LJ, and edited.  Originally posted May 26, 2005.)

I kinda hate this question. “What is my type of guy?” I dont have a type. I can like big geeks and big football players, I can like pensive (legal) boys and strong older men. There is no one that I can describe and say “yes, im attracted to them,” or “no, I wouldnt date them at all.”

So, this is my little mini essay on the guys that I like. There will probably be always exceptions to the rule, but most of the guys that I have dated and gotten along with have had the majority of these qualities.

Open Mind. If someone is so stuck in their ways they never want to try and do or learn something new, we will not get along. If, out of the blue, I say “hey, lets go skydiving, (eat thai food, watch a new tv show, try a new position)” etc, a proper response is either “yes” or “im not sure, lets disuss it.” Abilitiy to learn new things, to think about new and weird scientific stuff, to be able to converse about unknown items, etc. This is also open minded about beliefs. Not that I wouldnt date someone with strong religious convictions, but as long as they dont give me grief about my religion, and can think their own thoughts, we should be fine.

High Sexual Appetite. I am a very sexually driven person. I like and enjoy sex. And, while I know that sex is not the only reason for a relationship, I will probably be driven out of my mind by someone that only wants sex once a month. I am the type of person that, unless im sick or exhausted, will probably never say no to my partner. And while it might be unreasonable to think that my partner would do the same for me, Id rather have a partner that will say yes 90% of the time, and when they say no, explain why they dont want sex, and schedule a make up time. :-)

Attractiveness. Now, while there is not a type of guy that I am attracted to, I have several different archetypes that I will usually be drawn to. guys with long well kept hair. Guys with well kept goatees (i dont really like mustaches and/or van dyke styles, or long bushy beards. Well kept beards, it really depends.) Shy Geeky guys. Smart looking guys (nerdy guys, guys in glasses, guys that look smart) Black guys (mmm, black guys with glasses :-) (Note, this list is neither inclusive or exhaustive.) But, there has to be some level of attraction there, or else there is no sexual spark. I can be great friends with someone, but if I dont want to fuck them, then we cant have a sexual relationship. There have been times that people that I previously found not fuckable have been changed into a fuckable category, but very few. (And, if I have seen a picture of you, and are still chatting, you probably still have a chance. Ask if you want to know :-)

Compatable relationship ethics. I was discussing with a friend that I could not be friends with someone that does not share my same relationship ethics. Aka, if you are married and fucking around without telling your wife, we will probably never be friends. I do not particularly care if you have cheated in the past, because there is no need to lie to me. I am poly, I am open.

Comfortable with Safe Sex Practices. Aka, you dont have to love using condoms, but you expect it, can keep it hard using one, and know how special going without one is. Anyone that dislikes condoms to the point of not wanting to use one, sorry, I am not your girl.  I know I live a high risk lifestyle, and I want to feel confident that my partner will use condoms with their other partners.  Asking me to go without one, without a primary level relationship, indicates that they may ask their other partners to go without one, which is kinda icky to me.

Age. Age is semi flexible with me, I have dated from 19 to 42. The younger limit is bound by legality (aka, 18, because I have lots of porn) and the upper limit is more by attractiveness than actual age. If you are 45 and look (honestly) 32, maybe. If you are 32 and look 50, no :-) I am not attracted to far older people, no matter what you think you could do for me.

Cuddle slut. Doesnt have to be a slut about it, but I do enjoy cuddling, and I want to know that my partner enjoys holding and touching me. Im a very touchy feely huggy person, and I expect my partner to be the same towards me.

*Bonus: Non smoker. Or dipper. Im okay with the occasional pot use, but no heavier drugs. I dont usually mind dating smokers, unless they reek of smoke, and taste of it. But, with a toothbrush, its usually taken care of. Again, once we meet in person, ask, and i’ll let you know :-)